The Society currently recognizes seven species of gool. An eighth — the Mailbox Gool — remains provisionally listed pending peer-reviewed photograph (none yet survives the print stage).

1. Mossback Gool · Goolus muscus

    .-""""-.
   /  o  o  \
  |    --    |
   \________/
    /\ /\ /\

The most commonly sighted gool. Wears living moss. Sleeps loudly.

HABITAT : damp forest floor, hollow logs, decommissioned planters DIET : mushroom shavings, kind words, thumbtacks DEMEANOR : shy, polite, occasionally philosophical DANGER : ◯ none SIZE : russet potato (medium) SOUND : a polite kettle

2. Pantry Gool · Goolus domesticus

   .-====-.
  / [o] [o] \
 |    ww    |
  \________/
   ||    ||

Lives behind the cereal. Will rearrange your spice rack. Never steals.

HABITAT : kitchens, attics, the back of the linen closet DIET : cracker dust, expired bay leaves DEMEANOR : tidy, opinionated about garlic powder DANGER : ◯ none, unless you keep paprika next to cinnamon SIZE : two russet potatoes stacked SOUND : the faintest possible "tut"

3. Bog Gool · Goolus paludis

    ~~  ~~~  ~
   /  ⊙  ⊙  \
  |    ~~    |
   \  ____  /
    \\/  \\/

Slow. Slick. Believed to be the most ancient lineage. Smells faintly of pennies.

HABITAT : peat bogs, drainage ditches, abandoned fountains DIET : algal bloom, iron filings, old rumors DEMEANOR : grave, slow-spoken, possibly precognitive DANGER : ◯ none — though may say something unsettling SIZE : melon SOUND : a sigh, very far away

4. Telephone Gool · Goolus electricus

     .-""-.
    / o  o \
   |   __   |
    \ _||_ /
      ||||
     ((  ))

Drawn to dial tones, pre-2003 modems, and forgotten landlines. Hums.

HABITAT : phone booths, server closets, your grandmother's basement DIET : 56k handshake noise, AOL discs, electromagnetic crumbs DEMEANOR : alert, twitchy, occasionally informative DANGER : ◯ harmless · may transmit a wrong number SIZE : a coffee mug SOUND : a faint, rhythmic ring

5. Library Gool · Goolus bibliophilus

   .------.
  / [o] [o] \
 |    --    |
  \  ____  /
   |▓▓▓▓▓▓|
   |▓▓▓▓▓▓|

Lives in stacks. Will return books you forgot you had. Frowns at fines.

HABITAT : libraries, used-book shops, that one shelf in your hallway DIET : page dust, marginalia, bookmarks left behind DEMEANOR : helpful, pedantic, deeply read DANGER : ◯ none · spoiler risk if provoked SIZE : hardcover novel SOUND : the gentle shhh of a closing book

6. Footnote Gool · Goolus marginalia

     .--..
    / oo  \
   |   --¹ |
    \ ___ /
     | || ²

Lives at the bottoms of pages. Tiniest gool. Highly literate. Cannot be photographed (technically: can; never is).

HABITAT : academic papers, ¹ pull quotes, manual page footers DIET : citations, em-dashes, parenthetical asides DEMEANOR : exacting, smug, secretly affectionate DANGER : ◯ none · except to your bibliography SIZE : a thumbnail SOUND : a tiny pen scratch

7. Static Gool · Goolus televisus

   ░░░░░░░░░
   ░ o   o ░
   ░   _   ░
   ░░░░░░░░░
   ▒▒░▒░▒░▒

Manifests in dead channels and the carrier-wave hiss of unplugged appliances. Most studied. Least understood.

HABITAT : CRT televisions, microwave hum, "white noise" YouTube videos DIET : entropy, lost remote controls DEMEANOR : pixelated, evasive, occasionally helpful at 3 a.m. DANGER : ◯ none · may briefly know your full name SIZE : variable (channel-dependent) SOUND : ░▒▓████▓▒░

Provisional eighth species — the Mailbox Gool — has been reported in 41 separate sightings since 2018. None of the photographs have survived being mailed to the Society. We are taking suggestions.